Let’s take a break from the usual japanese songs I have here shall we?
Well, I’m back after a few weeks of my technician course.
And I’m quite enjoying the life there for once… Maybe it’s cos I changed my attitude towards NS a bit.
I still don’t like it.
But I finally accepted it. And I try to find fulfilment in the little things that I do.
Just the other day I fixed up some stuff in my tank and I was pretty happy that I kept a positive attitude despite a seemingly tough situation. The screws were stuck to the component I was taking out and my friend was complaining a lot (well that’s just him normally anw). I went in to help him and managed to do it after several tries which ended in my arm aching too much to continue. Well damn, I was so satisfied when the instructors praised me after that for keeping a positive attitude and finishing our work earlier than was expected of us.
I really enjoy moments like this. Maybe it’s the recognition or something. I don’t know.
But I really think a positive attitude towards everything does help. I do fall into fits of depression, but well.. that’s just me. I should change that, but one cannot always change everything I guess. Recently I’ve realized I need to be gentle with myself, and not blame myself for not doing good work that day or not being able to do what everyone else can. Because NOBODY is perfect. But it’s find to feel a bit inadequate =D. It’s healthy till it brings you down so low you lose motivation to carry on.
Oh and one more thing..
I think I’m learning to appreciate the world. And I’m finally meeting myself as an artist.
After I started re-reading The Art Of Practicing, I realized I forgot everything the book had taught me. And I decided to push myself to implement these things in my life again.
And one of it was to open up to world around you. Feel it.
And that’s when I realized that the world is beautiful.
Even in the darkest of times, look around you and it is beautiful.
It helped me meet myself. My sensitive, vulnerable self, ready to pour my emotions into my music.
And I believe now, I do play much better. Simply by opening up and seeing the things around me. Being sensitive to thew slightest sound, and touch.
It’s amazing really.
That’s where I realized I’ve begun to meet myself as an artist. To pour this strange rush of emotion and sensitivity to the beauty of the world into my music.
It’s a good feeling. And it’s changing my attitude towards my life as well.
Which is why I feel much better towards NS. I really hope I can sustain this, and I bet it’ll make my life much better.
So well, booking in soon, so cya. (OHYA I GET TO WEAR CIVILIAN CLOTHING INTO CAMP YAY)
I’m free…. Free fallin’.