Stumble, but move on.

Life Goes On.

Hey guys, I haven’t posted in a while, but a lot has happened in my life that’s been keeping me busy.

First off, I just want to say that I haven’t been in the best of moods recently. Army has ramped up it’s pace since the last time I posted, and so has my life outside of the Army. In short, I’m holding on for dear life on a race car that won’t take a break. Not for a second.

Well, about the piece today, it’s another composition of Animenz’s. He is my piano hero, and rightly so. =). It touched my heart the first time I heard it. It feels like all his lamentations, joy and sadness in his life coalesced into this one song.

So yeah, lately, I’ve not been my best. I realized that once things pace up, I can’t slow down, and my mind gets frustrated really fast.

I feel like I’m running a race with no clear goal.

Well, I’ve had that feeling for much of my Army life so far, and that hasn’t changed still. The end feels so close but so out of reach.

Okay I guess an explanation for all that I said just now is in order.

Recently, my unit has started it’s rotation cycle. So basically, a rotation is sorta like an event that the unit has, and that usually means I need to support whatever it may be, like a live firing for tanks etc.

So yeah, it’s ramping up the pace.

On the other side of my life, I burn weekends and weekday nights practising my two instruments.

Guitar receives much less love than piano nowadays.

And there are times where it feels like I’m inadequate.

I’m rushing and rushing, and the results are slow. That’s why I feel sad, because I know I can’t further my studies in music officially because I lack experience. The years that I need to put in isn’t there.

And then there’s band prac and Japanese studies.

For band prac, I fall behind usually because of my own practice with my instruments. Sometimes I do spend time on the songs they put out, but I have other stuff to cover too, that doesn’t entail their songs. Hence, sometimes I just end up screwing up in pracs. They don’t say it,  but they feel it.

For Japanese, I’ve been doing fairly well, despite allocating the least time to it. I scored the highest in class and I’m pretty content with my understanding of the language, which is pretty basic.

My Japanese teacher recommended that I consider going to a Japanese University to study. I am considering that, but again, I need to dig out time to research all this and my parents aren’t exactly giving any approval either.

Then there’s the Japanese trip. I really have no time to plan it, despite starting the discussion quite early this year.

And I have to consider taking driving lessons soon too, because it’s gonna be difficult next year with all my Uni studies coming in.

Sometimes I just want to throw all of these things out of the window and rot. But I need to press on…

Positivity, Kevin. You’ll get through this.

Sorry for the rant post! But I’ll get through all of this bullshit. I swear. Because,

Life goes on.

 

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