Stumble, but move on.

Beautiful Sorrow.

Hi guys, it’s the evening before I book in and I’d just want to share a few realizations I had over the weekend. And some thoughts that are going through my head right now.

The first of my realizations is my need to be independent. On Saturday night, I woke up crying after thinking about living without my parents anymore. It hit me that I cannot go on like this forever. I keep retreating to that bulwark of support and reassurance that is my parents. I take so much more from them than I should. Whatever I want, I would get eventually.

I am spoilt.

I made a resolution from that night to be more independent whenever possible. Things like doing the dishes and making my bed and cleaning my room.

For now however, till NS is over, there are things which I still have to depend on them to keep my progress towards my goals constant.

But it was a painful realization.

As I am typing this right now, my sister is outside with Spud, making him put on a shirt (actually more like a hoodie for dogs) and they’re all having fun, and laughing as Spud tries to get out of it.

As the evening sun sets, and the light reflected upon the glass of the coffee table beside me, I realized that this might just be a beautiful memory later on.

And since sorrow only comes from strong, happy memories,

is there not beauty in sorrow?

Life is beautiful, but the end of life, is also the celebration of that life. For it is then when we truly reminisce and appreciate how that life has impacted ours.

That is my realization today.

And also, I’m having the book-in blues again.

HAHAHA. I feel sian, but it’s February so I don’t have long to go. It’s arduous but I’ll make it. Life’s not bad, but its dull, and going back just makes me feel sad that I can’t be home again to see the faces that matter most to my life. Then again, I’ll leave for Japan shortly after, so…

Well, I just hope I ORD without any worries.

Well, I’m off to pack my bag and watch a bit of drama. Downloaded enough to keep me really busy for the next 4 days at least. Or more, depending on how much I binge.

I feel like I have about 8 or 9 more book-ins left. So, I’ll just count down on this blog.

I’m booking in.

Oh, and anyway, I decided to dedicate more time to studying Japanese, in preparation for N4. I feel like my Japanese is getting somewhere already, so I’m studying ahead out of interest, and I know I’ll get somewhere =D. Anywayyyyy.



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