Stumble, but move on.

Reflections.

2 days away from serious musical practice.

2 days (nearly) of practicing mindful speaking.

It’s opened myself up to the world a bit more again. I feel like I have refreshed my outlook on music and life again after not pushing myself to repeat the same routine over and over. I feel like I am slowly freeing myself from the chains of monotony. Slowly, but surely.

I wouldn’t say I’m done reflecting, but I really feel that these few days, I have been so fixated on my goals that I forgot that living life is more important than chasing it.

Yes, I feel like I am chasing life.

As if I’m always running towards something, that I deem to be a worthy legacy of my life.

I think it’s important to look towards the future. But sometimes in doing so, we don’t live in the present. Always, I find my thoughts lean towards what I’m going to be in the future, and what I want for myself in the future.

Living in the present is also important. If we spend our whole lives trying to achieve something for the future, then we would always be chasing that.

Sometimes I forget that I’m human. That I make mistakes, and that I can’t work like a machine. Discipline has never been one of my strong points. But I guess I am too hard on myself when I am not disciplined.

I find myself rejecting friends who invite me out more often than not. And then I stay at home and do nothing but practice, then watch videos. It’s stifling sometimes. I need to give myself room to be human.

I feel I’ve not fully understood what it is to live my life. I haven’t formed a concrete opinion on how I can learn from the past few days’ events, but I guess I’ll see it eventually.

To my friends who read this blog, thank you for always looking out for me, and always supporting me. It means a lot when someone simply comes up to you and tell you that it’s okay.

And that it’s okay not to be perfect.

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