Stumble, but move on.

Reflections of a busy man.

Hi guys, just wanted a really apt title. If you’re wondering about why I haven’t blogged (probably aren’t but as the narcissistic man I am I shall tell you XD), it’s because well, things have been popping up left and right recently. Right, I know I promised posts about Japan, and I will get to it, now that I have slightly more time on my hands.

If you’re wondering what’s been tying me down, oh well, then you won’t be surprised by my answer. Music, Japanese and training/health. Oh and listening to this soundtrack really soothes my soul. It was comfort for me two years ago, while I lay awake, not knowing what the future held for me, in my bunk in Pulau Tekong. I sing the first song Ubugoe, on the playlist a lot. It reminds me so much of a mother soothing her child to sleep.

Let’s talk about the milestone I just reached. Just yesterday, I completed my N4 Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT). Which calls for both a celebration and reflection. I prepared painfully for it, spending more than a month doing assessment books and studying ahead of my class. I… Really feel like I’ve achieved something in this short span of time. I feel invigorated by this milestone too. Even though I haven’t got my results back, AND even if I fail this test (highly unlikely), I feel like I’ve progressed so much. And I felt the need to reflect and be happy about this progress. It’s important to celebrate your successes as much as reflect on your failures.

Besides that, my new band has taken off to a rocky rocky start. In my previous post, I believe, the band’s bassist had only been found, but now, the pianist, or keyboardist, has just replaced Yu Hng. Losing my constant musical companion was painful for me. I felt lonely for the first time as I started to face these obstacles alone. But I think I’ve grown too comfortable with his companionship, and leaned on him so much that I became weak myself. It’s time for the cub to hunt on his own (subtle reference to the movie from the OST xD).

So for now, the band is experiencing one of it’s rockier times. The singer is unsatisfactory, so we tried to reel in the drummer’s friend. She’s a great singer, but the more senior members (as in age) in my band (namely the bassist and the keyboardist) feel that she lacks the passion for the band. Along with her passive, introverted personality that also won’t do us any good with audiences.

Ah, being in a band, I had some moments where I felt so afraid. Like I felt so scared people would judge me for my skills and all… But now it’s like, people politics and all. I don’t like that bit, especially when everyone has differing views, and the only way out is to find a tenuous compromise. And me, well, I was always one to go with the flow, stay out of the way. You know, like any introvert would.

I try to be accommodating to everyone, but I feel like it’s a pretty difficult thing to lead just a band of 5 of us. Well, maybe one of them is the most difficult of all, but even she does it for the band. Everyone wants the band to succeed, albeit at varying degrees. And it’s this difference in commitment that I find so small, yet it has such a big impact on all of us, whether or not you’re directly involved in conflict. But I will do my best. As I always have. I want this to succeed too.

Now to get on with more miscellaneous matters (I had to use word correct to find out how to spell misc btw LOL). With matters pertaining to my health, I’ve never been better. I mean I have been stronger and faster back in JC, but I was not happy nor satisfied. Now I am both. Spiritually, I accept myself for where I am at, and am content to work slowly with what I have (not just for health but Japanese. Music… well, I’m still trying to get over my lack of ability at this age LOL). And I am content. I lost quite a bit of fat, and my stomach is pretty flat now. Got some work to do still, so I’m not over with it just yet. I can’t start a tough regime now due to my commitments, but I will work at this. Exercising like every alternate day, and hitting different muscles each time. I like it. Never felt better.

Also I have been more careful with my diet, and am eating within my means, and am avoiding all the sugars and mean stuff. I realized I let things into my mouth too casually, and I paid for it. So I had an app, MyFitnessPal, that recorded all the food I ate (I had to manually log it). Then it became clear to me that my diet wasn’t the best because I ate in excess, and I take in too much sugar when I don’t mean to. So I’ve switched up what I drink (from KOI and Starbucks to tea, milk and coffee with milk only, less sweet), and am more careful with the amount I eat (normally I eat a bit too much, but the foods are more or less pretty okay foods, not particularly healthy all the time but good enough). So with all that in place, no secret, I lost a good amount of fat and am looking much better than I was last year, when I was reflecting on my health.

I am content. If a God exists, he has blessed me for my good work so far. But it isn’t over. I still want to become the best I can be. I will work at it, with all my heart.

It’s time to get cracking =D. Cya guys in my next few Japan blogs~

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