Stumble, but move on.

Week 11: Stepping back (again).

Things aren’t working that well right now. I lost focus. Though, to be fair, there were reasons for it, and I need to get back on track for the last leg of the term.

So recently, I have been experiencing difficulties in juggling my studies, my musical progress, my Japanese, and my training. I want to take a step back and analyze what happened, because one of my writing assignments did worse. So why?

Firstly, the assignment was written during my mid terms, and I naturally focused more on the mid-terms than the assignment. So that’s an excuse, but not a very good one.

Secondly, I was going through another bout of “music crisis” again. Typically, I would feel like what I am doing is useless when I am under high pressure, and will try to justify it with “I want to do music”. I think my thoughts should be more like “Yes I want to do music, but right now, I need to focus on my studies and think about how to go about that later.” I think its very important to learn how to manage my feelings. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying hey, you just need to focus for a while more and you’ll be able to do what you love again.

Thirdly, I shifted my focus. While in the first term, I focused much more on performing in my studies, it took up A LOT of my time. I overcompensated for most things, and I outdid myself at the cost of everything else. This term, I decided instead to focus on the other parts of my life. So a big part of my focus was shifted to changing up my diet, and playing/composing music. Naturally, my studies did not receive as much focus as required, but I did well enough until now (only my writing assignment dropped by 2 grades from the previous from an A- to a B).

So let’s discuss what to do moving forward. I know for one I cannot focus on too many things at once, and at week 11 out of 15, I can’t juggle so many things. With that in mind, I think I will keep my training program, and allow it to lax for a bit for these 4 weeks (according to my schedule) and I will focus wholly on my studies. I won’t be able to do much for music during these 2 weeks especially, with presentations and projects due. Japanese has, and will be put on the side for more urgent matters. I think when my term ends, I will put in quite a bit of effort into speaking the language, but for now, I can’t afford anything else that drains my focus till my finals end.

I feel exhausted at this point in time, but I really have to keep moving. Things will only get better within the next 4 weeks.
It’s a simple shift in focus. You can do this Kevin.


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